Latest Articles
Name Three
If Second Hand Smoke kills people, where are the bodies?Moniker Madness
Congress finally does one honest thingState of Freedom
Will the Free State Project work?HomeBody
Why Smoking Ban's Kill BusinessesNow That Was a Party
Notes from the Toronto SARs concertDigital Follies
Just when you think the recording industy couldn't get any dumber...Random Recorder
Time/Warner does it again.
Scream Too
Will they ever stop screaming at us?
2002
Turn Turn Turn
Does the media have a right wing bias?
Nanny Nation
Did you really think the nannies would stop at tobacco?
Nicotine Nazis
Hitler would have loved todays anti-smoker movement.
Virtual Vigalanties
The RIAA wants a look at your hard drive.
No Tipping
A nation of finks?
One Nation, Under Gods
Let's force kids to be religous.
Hollywood vs. Americans
Hollywood tells congress "Please Sir, I Want Some More."
White Like Me
PC Preaching Backfires
Dated For Freshness
Should laws last forever?
Telemarketers, Make My Day, Again
New ways to torture the scum of the earth.
2001
Patriot Games
Let's celebrate our freedoms by removing them.
None Should Call it Treason
Ya doesn't have ta call 'em traitors.
Random Thoughts
Random Thoughts jotted down the week following the Attack on America.
Rebuilding the World Trade Center
THMC offers an architectural suggestion.
Free Ride
The Supreme Court just made us all athletes.
Slouching Toward Singapore
Be sure to bring handcuffs for the kiddies.
Borking Lessons
Whose turn to get Borked?
Bottom Fishing
You can count on the EPA to stir up dirt
Get Smart
If being Smartenized® isn't quite good enough for you, THMC offers personalized instruction.
Couch Potato Nirvana
Are we not spuds? We are Tivo!
Economics for Democrats
So simple, even members of congress can understand it
Search Me
THMC shows up in the strangest places2000
The Party's Over
The real reason the RIAA will lose the battle against on-line music
A Thin Green Shell
What are the Greens really offering?
Hail to The Thief
Just when you think lawyers can sink no lower...
Welcome Hillary
Let's give Ms. Smug the welcome she deserves
THMC Presidential Endorsements
We proudly nominate losers
Mind Your Own Business
We need an old motto on our money
Clueless Kitty
Lawyers and Flying Butt Monkeys fight over a toy cat
The Great Debate Debate
How to prevent anything interesting from happening
Al A Gore y
Al's Manifesto
Just The Facts
THMC announces The Facts, a rebuttal to Second Hand Smoke Nannies
What Were They Smoking?
It's not easy finding a jury this stupid
Porky's
A fat guy looks at the fat acceptance movement
Absolute Non-scents
Something stinks in Halifax
Twit of The Month
At last, an effective solution to the Usenet twit infestation
TOTM FAQ
The Twit Of The Month FAQ
Corn Maquechoux
How to get your kids to eat vegetables by cooking them in butter and heavy cream
See You, In C.U.B.A
The final word on Elian
Taking a Napster
How to loose 300,000 fans in an instant
Lightning Strikes
What, me worry?
FrankenFUD
GM food? Relax, you're soaking in it!
Things you Should Know, Volume III
We continue our commitment to make you even smarter
Still Zevon, After All These Years
He's is still excitable
Breaking Records
Pity the poor, poor record companies
The Diallo Trial
A series of five articles featuring eyewitness reports of the events outside the courtroom, all told in the unmistakable Hittman style.
Jury Selection | The Trial Begins | The Prosecution Rests
The Defense Begins | The Verdict
The New Racists
Don't you want somebody to hate. Don't you need somebody to hate....
Fish and Chips
It seemed like a good idea.
Skin Deep
Presidential predictions based on the way Americans really vote.
Time for a Tea Party
Cheating on Tobacco Taxes - A How-To Manual1999
So Long, Charlie
Knowing when to quit is the final skill an artist needs to master.
Hope Floats
What do we do with a dunked kid sailor?
Personal Boycotts
How to save money by refusing to shop anywhere.
Risky Business
There's nothing like a motorcycle ride to make you feel alive. Or so I'm told.
I Am The Eggman
How does it feel to be, one of the beautiful, zygotes?
Reform School
Jesse Ventura could be president, as long as he doesn't learn to keep his mouth shut.
New Study Proves Smokers more Honest, Better at Math than Non-Smokers.
Why should Nannies be the only ones who get to spew junk science?
D.A.R.E - Dave's Absolutely Realistic Education
D.A.R.E. doesn't work. Here's a program that does.
Greetings from Kansas
Kansas boldly marches toward the 19th century.
Pick Your Brain
In today's legal climate nothing is more profitable than stupidity.
Flush Twice
Congress may give us permission to install working toilets again, but its too late to save my kitchen ceiling.
Not the End of The World
Y2K won't result in any large disasters. Too bad.
The Frog and Peach
Sometimes the best choice is not to choose at all.
Good for Your Constitution
A flag burning amendment that should satisfy everyone.
Please Bring Me a Flaming Phonebook.
Celebrate the (strange) moments of your life.
Things You Should Know, Volume Two.
Why settle for a merely educating your brain when you can have it Smartenized®?
7 Words You Can Never Say On A Canoe Trip by Dan Akers
Michigan says "The first amendment? Fuck it."
Will PETA Have the Last Laugh?
Animal Rights Activists are usually amusing. But don't laugh too hard.
Cops Always Have the Best Marlboros
A modest proposal for the tobacco companies
Life is Like a Box of Lawsuits
The author of a just-too-cute poem goes on a suing spree
Telemarketers: Make My Day
Don't let phone salesmen ruin your day - ruin theirs instead. Step by step instructions for this fun and rewarding hobby
Dr. Dave's Useless Advice
Fact free advice on cigars
Roadrunner - We Suck Faster
Time Warner's ISP gives their customers the bird
The Same Old Whine
Who needs a new cause when you can repackage old ones?
Hey, I just Flew In, And I'm Your New Senator
Before New Yorkers debate Hillary Clinton's politics we need to ask a more important question: should she be representing us?
The Only Way to Curb Teen Smoking
Kids smoke because it's cool. The harder you fight it the cooler it seems to them. But there are ways to make them toss their smokes away in disgust…
Microsoft's Real Sin
Microsoft isn't just being punished for being successful. It's their arrogance that pisses off Uncle Sam
Advice to Microsoft: Move
The trial is not going well for Microsoft. But there is an option Bill hasn't considered...
Congress Plans to Levy Cliché Tax
You can be trite and unimaginative, but it's going to cost you.
Nine Things Worth Knowing
A public service of THMC to help you wise up.
© 1999-2003 Dave Hitt
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