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Latest Articles

	Name Three If Second Hand Smoke kills people, where are the bodies?
	Moniker Madness Congress finally does one honest thing
	State of Freedom Will the Free State Project work?
	HomeBody Why Smoking Ban's Kill Businesses
	Now That Was a Party Notes from the Toronto SARs concert
	Digital Follies Just when you think the recording industy couldn't get any dumber...
	Random Recorder Time/Warner does it again.

Scream Too Will they ever stop screaming at us?

2002

Turn Turn Turn Does the media have a right wing bias?

Nanny Nation Did you really think the nannies would stop at tobacco?

Nicotine Nazis Hitler would have loved todays anti-smoker movement.

Virtual Vigalanties The RIAA wants a look at your hard drive.

No Tipping A nation of finks?

One Nation, Under Gods Let's force kids to be religous.

Hollywood vs. Americans Hollywood tells congress "Please Sir, I Want Some More."

White Like Me PC Preaching Backfires

Dated For Freshness Should laws last forever?

Telemarketers, Make My Day, Again New ways to torture the scum of the earth.

2001

Patriot Games Let's celebrate our freedoms by removing them.

None Should Call it Treason Ya doesn't have ta call 'em traitors.

Random Thoughts Random Thoughts jotted down the week following the Attack on America.

Rebuilding the World Trade Center THMC offers an architectural suggestion.

Free Ride The Supreme Court just made us all athletes.

Slouching Toward Singapore Be sure to bring handcuffs for the kiddies.

Borking Lessons Whose turn to get Borked?

Bottom Fishing You can count on the EPA to stir up dirt

Get Smart If being Smartenized® isn't quite good enough for you, THMC offers personalized instruction.

Couch Potato Nirvana Are we not spuds? We are Tivo!

Economics for Democrats So simple, even members of congress can understand it

Search Me THMC shows up in the strangest places

2000

The Party's Over The real reason the RIAA will lose the battle against on-line music

A Thin Green Shell What are the Greens really offering?

Hail to The Thief Just when you think lawyers can sink no lower...

Welcome Hillary Let's give Ms. Smug the welcome she deserves

THMC Presidential Endorsements We proudly nominate losers

Mind Your Own Business We need an old motto on our money

Clueless Kitty Lawyers and Flying Butt Monkeys fight over a toy cat

The Great Debate Debate How to prevent anything interesting from happening

Al A Gore y Al's Manifesto

Just The Facts THMC announces The Facts, a rebuttal to Second Hand Smoke Nannies

What Were They Smoking? It's not easy finding a jury this stupid

Porky's A fat guy looks at the fat acceptance movement

Absolute Non-scents Something stinks in Halifax

Twit of The Month At last, an effective solution to the Usenet twit infestation

TOTM FAQ The Twit Of The Month FAQ

Corn Maquechoux How to get your kids to eat vegetables by cooking them in butter and heavy cream

See You, In C.U.B.A The final word on Elian

Taking a Napster How to loose 300,000 fans in an instant

Lightning Strikes What, me worry?

FrankenFUD GM food? Relax, you're soaking in it!

Things you Should Know, Volume III We continue our commitment to make you even smarter

Still Zevon, After All These Years He's is still excitable

Breaking Records Pity the poor, poor record companies

The Diallo Trial A series of five articles featuring eyewitness reports of the events outside the courtroom, all told in the unmistakable Hittman style. Jury Selection | The Trial Begins | The Prosecution Rests The Defense Begins | The Verdict

The New Racists Don't you want somebody to hate. Don't you need somebody to hate....

Fish and Chips It seemed like a good idea.

Skin Deep Presidential predictions based on the way Americans really vote.

Time for a Tea Party Cheating on Tobacco Taxes - A How-To Manual

1999

So Long, Charlie Knowing when to quit is the final skill an artist needs to master.

Hope Floats What do we do with a dunked kid sailor?

Personal Boycotts How to save money by refusing to shop anywhere.

Risky Business There's nothing like a motorcycle ride to make you feel alive. Or so I'm told.

I Am The Eggman How does it feel to be, one of the beautiful, zygotes?

Reform School Jesse Ventura could be president, as long as he doesn't learn to keep his mouth shut.

New Study Proves Smokers more Honest, Better at Math than Non-Smokers. Why should Nannies be the only ones who get to spew junk science?

D.A.R.E - Dave's Absolutely Realistic Education D.A.R.E. doesn't work. Here's a program that does.

Greetings from Kansas Kansas boldly marches toward the 19th century.

Pick Your Brain In today's legal climate nothing is more profitable than stupidity.

Flush Twice Congress may give us permission to install working toilets again, but its too late to save my kitchen ceiling.

Not the End of The World Y2K won't result in any large disasters. Too bad.

The Frog and Peach Sometimes the best choice is not to choose at all.

Good for Your Constitution A flag burning amendment that should satisfy everyone.

Please Bring Me a Flaming Phonebook. Celebrate the (strange) moments of your life.

Things You Should Know, Volume Two. Why settle for a merely educating your brain when you can have it Smartenized®?

7 Words You Can Never Say On A Canoe Trip by Dan Akers Michigan says "The first amendment? Fuck it."

Will PETA Have the Last Laugh? Animal Rights Activists are usually amusing. But don't laugh too hard.

Cops Always Have the Best Marlboros A modest proposal for the tobacco companies

Life is Like a Box of Lawsuits The author of a just-too-cute poem goes on a suing spree

Telemarketers: Make My Day Don't let phone salesmen ruin your day - ruin theirs instead. Step by step instructions for this fun and rewarding hobby

Dr. Dave's Useless Advice Fact free advice on cigars

Roadrunner - We Suck Faster Time Warner's ISP gives their customers the bird

The Same Old Whine Who needs a new cause when you can repackage old ones?

Hey, I just Flew In, And I'm Your New Senator Before New Yorkers debate Hillary Clinton's politics we need to ask a more important question: should she be representing us?

The Only Way to Curb Teen Smoking Kids smoke because it's cool. The harder you fight it the cooler it seems to them. But there are ways to make them toss their smokes away in disgust…

Microsoft's Real Sin Microsoft isn't just being punished for being successful. It's their arrogance that pisses off Uncle Sam

Advice to Microsoft: Move The trial is not going well for Microsoft. But there is an option Bill hasn't considered...

Congress Plans to Levy Cliché Tax You can be trite and unimaginative, but it's going to cost you.

Nine Things Worth Knowing A public service of THMC to help you wise up.

© 1999-2003 Dave Hitt

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